Thursday, May 26, 2011

Gone, But Never Forgotten

I keep searching for the right words today, yet here I am, unable to find them. This time, three years ago (almost exactly this time), Kevin and I were watching television when my phone rang with the worst news possible....My cousin, Scott, had been hit head on while driving and didn't survive. Within time, we came to learn that the other driver was more than two times over the legal limit when he crossed the yellow line. Scott died on impact.

Three years later and the pain just doesn't go away. I think about him all the time and the tears just flow. Growing up, Scott and I spent a lot of time around each other. In 1997 he moved to Mena, AR and I wasn't able to see him often. Thankfully, in 2007 I drove out to GA to see our family with the kids while Kevin was deployed, then headed to Mena to see my Grandmother and Aunt Jeanette. While I was there, he came out and stayed the night. For the first time, we were able to sit and talk, exchange stories as adults and catch up on missed time. It is a time that I will never forget and always hold close.

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch trying to relax, when Kevin called out to me. He said that Caitlin needed to ask me something and knew that it was something more in my area than his. Yes, we have certain areas that each of us handle better than the other. Caitlin walked over to me and out of nowhere, she told me that she wanted to tell Scott that she loves him but didn't know how. I had to bite the inside of my cheek in hopes of not shedding tears in front of her. I kept my composure and explained to her that if she talked to him like she does God when she prays, he would hear her. I didn't know what else to say and that seemed to be the right thing for her. I told her that he is always watching over us. As she walked away, I had to get up and walk outside because I couldn't keep the tears from coming. My heart ached, yet I was so proud of her for thinking about him and asking me this.

As you read this, please throw in a special prayer for Scott's parents, my Aunt and Uncle. Not only are they having to take on this day, but on May 27 we are all faced with Scott's 29th birthday. Two days after his accident he would have been 26. We could all use a special prayer this week.

*** Scott, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. The tears flow so easily and have everyday since the day we lost you. My heart aches knowing that you have been taken from us, especially when it comes to your parents. Please, keep watching over them.... We all love you and miss you more than words could ever say.***

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