Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Want It Up

The words of a child... "I want it up". This is what our three year old said to us when his hair was wet. He wanted us to spike it up. Once it was, he ran around yelling he was Batman... No idea, so please don't even ask!  This same day Caitlin decided she wanted her hair straight. Needless to say, it was an afternoon of hair craziness!

Happy 9th Birthday, Breanna!

I am more and more amazed that our little girl is now nine! It is just hard to believe and hard to take it! Really, where has the time gone? I feel like it was yesterday that I was in and out of L&D in preterm labor, just begging God to let my baby live! It doesn't seem that long ago when we had doctors telling us their goal was for us to make it to 27 weeks gestation, and somehow we made it to right under 35 weeks. Yes, we had a tiny preemie baby, but she was with us. She made it. We fought like hell, but we wouldn't change a thing. It has been an amazing nine years, with plenty of ups and downs with her asthma. But, overall, she is healthy and such an active kid with an outrageous imagination! Kevin and I have truly been blessed with her, as well as our other two. To this day, we all consider her our miracle baby. There is no other way to put it!
Nic jumped on Bre yelling "Happy Birthday Bre"... Way too cute!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's About That Time Again...

The time to celebrate Breanna's birthday has just about arrived! In all seriousness, where does the time go? How is she already almost nine? This really makes me want to cry. It seems like yesterday we were finding out she was on the way, going through one roller coaster of a pregnancy, spending over fifteen weeks just praying she would make it here alive, then to have a preemie with medical problems the first few years.... Now she is the amazingly smart nine year old. She's growing way to quickly for my liking and a little to fast for me to be able to take it all in. It just crushes me to see how much she has grown and the things she talks to us about. I miss my baby.

She has made the decision that her birthday theme this year is going to be The Twilight Saga. Yes, you read right. Our precious nine year old adores Twilight, to the point she has even told me Jacob is hot!!! What is that about? Isn't that supposed to come later in age, not at nine? Bre and I went to opening night of Eclipse... well, okay, we sat through the first two movies at the theater before being able to see Eclipse. When I say we were there from 5pm until after three in the morning, I am not at all leading you on! She sat through all three movies like a champ! We had a great time together. So, yes, we have agreed to let her have her birthday party in the Twilight theme.

Her party will be at our house on October 30, 2010 at 2:30.

Just Some Random Pictures

Yes, our kitten enjoys watching Kevin playing games on the computer... He even watches tv with us!

 Sunset from our backyard

Two men of my life! Kev and Nic while Kevin was playing a computer game.

A Day at the Stables

This past Sunday I was able to spend the day at Tres Milagros, a horse stable a little over a mile from us. I went there to volunteer a little then go for a trail ride that afternoon. Little did I know I would end up spending the entire day there! However, it was a wonderful day! I went out on a trail ride around 1130 with one of the most hard headed and stubborn horses, Bum. Haha, yes, his name is Bum! They named him that due to his bummed knee. For some reason Bum has no interest in turning left, he actually refuses to turn that direction. I learned this while we were out on the trail ride. Not a fun thing to learn at that point! After the ride, Bum and I spent a good bit of time in the arena back at the stables, trying to break him. It got to the point that he was rearing his head up and down, making me ready to get thrown off! Luckily, I wasn't thrown though it came pretty close a few times. His front legs came off the ground, making me get the feeling I was about to be bucked off.

Following this, another trail ride came up. This time I was able to take a horse named Larry out. He was super sweet and pretty easy to ride. However, he is a lot bigger than Bum, so he was not as easy to saddle up and get on. He did great during the trail ride, just took his sweet time. He was incredibly sweet and easy to work with. Below are pictures of Larry. Before I left the stables, I was asked if I could come back and help work with the horses, some still need to be broke. Of course, I said yes. Sunday mornings may just be spent up at the stables! How can I not go with the love I have for horses? Plus, it is time for me and we all know that moms need their "me" time!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Facts of Our Lives

I have been real hesitant on writing this post.... Once you have read it, I am sure you will better understand why. Last week a doctor that Kevin has been seeing for the past year started a procedure that we have been pushing off since the first of this year. He put in the referral for Kev to go through the medical discharge from the army. Some of you may be asking what this means and why. Let me tell you. My husband suffers from PTSD. So many people out there look at PTSD as a joke. Just a heads up, it is NOTHING at all to joke about. This is something serious. We have soldiers that are losing their lives because they cannot handle what the PTSD does to them. NO, Kevin is not at any risk for taking his life or mine and the kids. There is no threat at all with this. I don't feel the need to go into detail on the severity of PTSD he suffers from, just know it has been a real tough road. Also know, he is not really wanting to be bothered on this. The decisions that are being made right now are between the doctor, Kevin and me. The other reasons for the medical discharge is he has skin cancer, caused by deployments, his back and neck are damaged from the deployments, damage in both arms from the deployments, possible sleep apnea from the deployments, and more. As you can see from all of this, he is not in any position to deploy again. Yes, the things that you think of when you think of a war zone are the things that Kevin has been through and had to do. The life he lived over there is a life that no person should have to endure, yet he did. So, if you have not lived the military life with your spouse gone, be thankful that they are home. Be thankful you are not living with the permanent changes this life can bring. I would not change my life with Kevin for the world. Being with him and our kids is all that I can ever want out of life. However, seeing the changes in him is not something that puts a smile on my face. My husband is forever changed.

One day when he was away during the last deployment he called me. I was just taking my lunch break. He called me whenever he was not out on a mission during my lunch break. It was the one time during my day that would put a smile on my face! This call was different and it was one that I still can't shake. It has been a little over a year since this call. In the midst of us talking all I could hear were very loud explosions, followed by sirens and yelling. Then Kevin saying, "Oh shit. Baby, I have to go. I love you more than anything, kiss the kids for me......" then the drop of the phone. Even after he dropped it, I sat in my truck, listening to all the explosions, sirens and yelling. It was like something out of a dream. All I could think is this is not happening. I cannot even put into the proper words how shaky I was, the things I was experiencing, or the noises I heard. All I could do was sit there with the phone to my ear for a few moments, praying it would stop. It wasn't just one or two explosions, there were multiple explosions and they were so loud. It sounded like they were right beside the phone. (Which later, I did find out they were right there at the tent...talk about close)  After a few minutes I knew I had to hang up the phone, so I did...then I broke down into tears. All I could do was pray that he was okay. Thankfully a few hours later, while I was standing in the HR's office talking with my boss, my cell phone rang. When I saw Kev's skype number on my screen I started to cry again. I was so thankful to hear his voice and to know he was okay. To this day, I cannot get those sounds out of my head or the fear in his voice. I cannot imagine this being the life that these guys are living daily. I understand more and more of PTSD and the after war life that goes on. They leave for war as an alive person and come back as someone that has literally lived through hell!

Once everything is said and done, Kevin will be medically retired. Everything is combat related, and there is a lot that is being documented. We will keep all of our benefits just as if he were to retire at 20 years. It is just an early retirement based on all that he has been through and all that is going on with him health wise and physically. Overall, he is doing pretty good though. He is incredibly strong and stubborn. He is beginning to look forward to a life with me and the kids...wherever that may be. We are making the decision on where we end up based on where we each find jobs. We appreciate everyone's input, but this is something we have to decide on our own, knowing that the five of us come first in wherever the road may lead....

Thank you to everyone for the prayers and for continuing to understand and stand beside us. There is no way to put into words how my we appreciate it all. This will all take time for the right decisions to be made. As soon as we know more, we will update on here (some of you will receive phone calls before it is posted on here). If there is more you want to know, please email (ksbiddle2@hotmail.com) or call us!

We love you all and appreciate you more than you know. Thanks for being patient as we make the transitions we are about to make. The only thing we know as of now is Kevin should be out of the army within the next 2-6 months. It just depends on the appointments he has and the MEB (Medical Evaluation Board).

 More updates to come.....

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Squish A Boob, Save A Life

We all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.... but how many people actually take this month seriously? Lets do something, starting this year, 2010, every woman needs to take this month more serious! Breast cancer is not something to play around with, nor is it something that should be ignored or pushed to the side. My great grandmother had it years ago, I have a cousin that had it, Kevin's grandmother lost her life due to her battle with it, my best friends mom lost the long battle from it in 2006.... Breast Cancer is not a joke! If it is caught early enough, lives can be saved! Also, most people are under the impression that only women can be diagnosed with breast cancer, heads up people, men can as well! It is just an  uncommon thing, but it does happen! If you notice any changes, see a doctor!

Things to think about:

Aside skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common cancer among women.
It is more common among white women.
Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, lung cancer coming in first.
2.4 million women living in the US have been diagnosed and treated for breast cancer.
Out of 192,370 cases that are diagnosed, 1,910 are expected to be men.
Over 40,000 deaths from breast cancer were anticipated in 2009... I am looking for 2010.
If your parent, sibling, or child has been diagnosed, then you stand an increase in developing breast cancer. PLEASE GET CHECKED!!!
Women who began menstruating before the age of 12, stand am increased risk in developing this form of cancer, as well as women who have more menstrual cycles.

It is very important to know the signs and symptoms....what to look for. We are all aware of the knots and different feeling to look for. One thing that is not very known due to its rare cases is Inflammatory Breast Cancer, or IBC. This is a rapid growing form, making the breast red, swollen, tender and could even look like you have a rash. It can be confused with a breast infection and is known as a locally advanced cancer. Therefore if you notice a change, get is checked out! Better to be safe than sorry.

Many forms of cancer have taken the lives of people I love and miss terribly. Cancer is no joke and not something I play with. Right now my own husband has skin cancer. Granted it can be treated, he still has it and I keep waiting for the next appointment just to hear the words of him being in remission. Hearing he had cancer brought me to tears. So, if you notice changes anywhere on your body, you feel knots or lumps, don't blow it off. Call your doctor, go to one of the free screenings that are always all over the US, do whatever you have to do in order to save your life or the life of someone you love!

A woman’s chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer is: 
From age 30-39 . . . . . . 1 out of 229 
From age 40-49 . . . . . . 1 out of 68 
From age 50-59 . . . . . . 1 out of 37 
From age 60-69 . . . . . . 1 out of 26 
From age 70-85. . . . . . .1 out of 8

Weekend Catchup

This past weekend was a little more productive than the last one! On Saturday we had some friends over, which is always nice. However, at times it can really make you re-evaluate people and situations... Enough said about that on here. We watched my Gator's get stomped by Alabama! Wow, what a rough weekend for Florida! On Sunday we decided it was time to do a much needed oil change on both vehicles. We noticed that Kev had a flat tire on Saturday evening and were hoping that all we would have to do is have it patched and put more air in. No such luck there! We ended up spending a couple hours on Sunday for an open tire place! Sucks when you lose money to things like this! After that we continued with the oil changes, washed the truck, cut the grass, and even managed to fit the XTerra in the garage! More friends came over for dinner, which turned out to be a nice evening!

All in all, it was a good weekend. Now, it is back to a regular week of work, school, teacher conferences, and just pure busyness! Nothing new in this household! The good part of it all, this coming up weekend will be a long four day one for Kevin! I am very excited about knowing we have a longer weekend ahead of us! No plans other than sitting around the house and enjoying our time! Maybe we will get out and take some pictures!