Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Closing Another Chapter in Life
The time has come to close one chapter in my life, yet I now have the opportunity to open a new one while looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead of me and my family. What a year 27 was! It left me on many emotional roller coasters, fighting for my life, praying for my husbands health, going through the ups and downs of raising kids and so much more. There are no words that I can possibly use to narrow it down to one word in order to describe this past year, other than grateful. With saying that, grateful would be an understatement.
Nine months ago today, I went in for a common ~ but not so common, abdominal surgery. This surgery was to help take control of a lot of female problems I have had for years and put me in a place of enjoying life again. I had to have a hysterectomy in October of 2008, yet my ovaries were not removed. Needless to say, things got worse with my health and the only option I had was to have my ovaries removed. So at the age of 27, I was sent into surgical menopause, which for those who don't know, if by far a lot worse than going through menopause naturally. It doesn't slowly come on, instead, menopause hits immediately and it hits in full swing. Due to complications and incompetence of the surgical team, four days after the surgery I was admitted into a civilian hospital due to internal bleeding and kidney failure from the sites not being cauterized. I layed in a hospital bed, looking death in the face, and praying harder than I had ever prayed before. The only thing I could process was, I have three kids at home and a husband holding me that all need me. It's not my time. I begged God to just spare my life and to let me keep living. At first the doctors could not even guarantee an outcome and kept telling us that I should be dead. They told me many times that any other person would have not made it as long as I did and they were amazed that I was still alive. Talk about an eyeopener. Following a second surgery (emergency) in six days (six abdominal incision sites) and sent home with a JP drain, I swore to never again take life or anything for granted. Not even three months later I was readmitted for another bout of kidney failure and spent another week praying for my life. My life has changed is such drastic ways and I can no longer do things that I use to, which I have come to accept. I tire very quickly and have many "days" that leave me very limited to what I can and can't do. Yet, being able to celebrate not only my birthday, but Mother's Day (yesterday) as well, I am left feeling blessed and knowing that God has plans for me and my family. There is a reason I am still here, though we may never know the reason.
Aside from my surgeries, I am still faced with my other health issues that of course have me life dependent on medications. Those too have seen many roller coaster type days and weeks.
As if my problems were not enough for our family to take on, we were also faced with the MEB (Medical Evaluation Board) process coming into play. Due to PTSD, TBI, and other combat related injuries, Kevin's doctors started to process to have him medically discharged (retired) from the Army. Talk about an unexpected change to our future plans. As I write this, all we know is that he will be out of the army by the end of the year. Past that, keep following on here in hopes of a date! NO DATE OR INFO YET! Sorry, that's all that I can tell you at this point. Kev was also diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma, a skin cancer. Which he has been fighting since it was discovered and has undergone multiple procedures, from chemo to laser therapy and the most recent, surgery. Which, by the way, the incision site looks AMAZING! He has also had battles with Degenerative Disc Disease, bone spurs, crushed vertebrae, nerve damage....and I could go on and on. This is just not the post to give all the details in. Soon, though! Very soon.
So, here I am, now 28 and one day away from my second colonoscopy in six months because of the colitis I developed in November when my kidneys failed the second time, at which a tumor was discovered. After testing, we found out that it is benign. Tomorrow, around lunch time, I have to be back at the hospital in order to go through this all over again to see what has happened with the tumor over the months that have passed, as well the doctor discover what else is going on with the intestinal area. There is still a lot more going on with me medically, just none of which I want to share until I know further and definite details.
Let's all pray for a better year as I gracefully have decided to welcome 28 into my life. Not that I had too much of a choice on it's arrival or not. But, I'm 28 and have been through hell, learned a lot in my life, and have a lot to be forever grateful over. I have learned how short life can truly be and how to cherish the good and amazing times, take the bad and make the most out of it. There is still a lot I have to work through and a lot that I pray turns out to be okay. But, as always, I will continue to push through it all, at times stronger than others.
Thank you to everyone that has made turning 28 such an amazing thing!