Two nights ago left me feeling overwhelmed with numerous emotions based on the past week, months, and years of an emotional roller coaster that has stemmed from deployments and health problems. I am sure many of you know me are probably wondering what got into me because the post is not like the majority of other postings; and I do apologize if at any point I went on and on. I was just an emotional wreck and things really hit me Friday night. I don't know too many people that can take on even half of what Kev and I have been through and are facing in the future. I say that because I have seen first hand the ones that cave and honestly cannot handle when life gets difficult or complications arise. It's hard to hold my head up at all times and to keep moving. Yet, we have no other choices. Sulking is not an option. I was raised to not pout just because life doesn't go my way; and instead to work harder to enjoy the finer things in life that I am fortunate enough to have. These are just a few things that we try so hard to instill in our kids in order to make them better adults.
I won't sit here and take back my negative and harsh feelings to other's realities and yes, I do know and agree, that we are fighting our own battles. Life is never easy, but it does make us much stronger than when we began. I have many mixed emotions on everything that my family and I have battled recently. One day I am great because I am here, then there are moments that bad news hits or I have time to just sit and thing and my heart aches because of everything and because of what has been taken. Try being 27 and going through menopause or facing many medical issues that at any moment could take your life for the slightest thing that could go wrong. I don't cry and complain to anyone when I am having my moments, instead I just pick myself up and walk on...which is why many are not aware of my personal daily struggles and battles within myself. Other than my husband, there is only one person that I have fully turned to who periodically will receive an email or phone call with me feeling like I am falling apart. And you know, for a second I do feel like I am. That's only human though, right? If you read through my vent the other day, Thank You!
Anyhow, I know that I have not been active in the world of socialization lately, but I have needed to get myself together. However, I will be back on and in full force come Monday. Right now, I need to continue spending the time with Kev and the kids and enjoying our Easter weekend!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to the ladies that have helped keep me together and going over the past few days.
We hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and is able to spend it with the ones you love! If you are spending it without your other half due to these deployments and trainings, you are in our thoughts! I know first hand how the days are hard when they are away and even harder when the holidays roll around. Keep you heads up and know that your sacrifices never go unnoticed!