Uncle James ~ January 17, 1921 - January 20, 2012

At the young age of 5, I was introduced to the reality of what life brings...death. I lost my Great-Grandmother who to this day, I can remember so much about. From her voice, to the way she walked, and even to the scent of her being in the room. We lost her at 83 to Leukemia.

Following her death and her funeral, it seemed that a little too often I was faced with another funeral...always one right after another. One would have thought that as a child, I would become "numb" to death and to losing loved ones. Yet, I turned out quite opposite and at a very early age I learned that life is a gift and it can be taken at any moment regardless of age and that we as people must always cherish the moments that we have with one another.

Over the years, I have lost all but one of my grandparents, and at the age of almost 29 I am incredibly blessed to still have the most amazing woman ever still in my life, my Grandmother. This is the woman I would be horribly lost without and one that has always stood beside me and led me the right way in life. I have lost aunts and uncles, friends, teachers, cousins, and so many more. This past week (January 20 - three days after his 91st birthday), I lost my Great Uncle...

James Walker, my Great Uncle, lived an amazingly wonderful life, one that kept him surrounded by loved ones all the while teaching each of us the true meaning of family and holidays. He has been the backbone of our family (the Walker side) and has been one that we can each only strive to be like. He was the one that each of us learned so much from and one that has left us all with some of the most amazing memories. There is not a single reunion, holiday, or trip to Alabama that I cannot recall having Uncle James play a huge role in and leaving me feeling full of love and comfort in just being around him.

When I was younger, Uncle James and Aunt Mae (who passed away two years ago) lived in my Great Grandparents house (they passed before I was born, my dads grandparents) in Abernat, AL, where we spent many years at Christmas time celebrating surrounded by family. I have so many memories of this house and all the joy that it brought. I remember spending the night there during the summer months and waking up to Aunt Mae in the kitchen with her apron tied around her, making breakfast for everyone. Uncle James owned a store, James M Walker Grocery, that was literally in walking distance of his house, one that could be seen while standing on his property. I remember being young and full of excitement when he would walk us across the street and let us pick out a piece of candy. I can vaguely remember the smile that he would carry just to see the kids all happy.

This past Christmas I made the decision to tag along with my Aunt Jeanette and Grandmother as they made their annual Christmas. It was the first Christmas in eight years that I have been able to spend with my family, one that I will forever be grateful that I was able to spend. On the Monday after we arrived, I was able to spend awhile with Uncle James, Aunt Jeanette, and Grandmama.I was warned in the beginning that Uncle James may not remember me...yet he did. When I walked in, he looked at me for a moment, as though he was trying to place me. Like I said, it had been years. Aunt Jeanette told him my name and he said, "I know who she is. Brittney use to come to my house when she was a kid..." and he carried on from there. He remembered me. He kept me close to him while we were there, which of course I loved. It was nice to see him and spend some time with him.Yet, it also hurt because I could tell then he wasn't doing too well. I just never imagined that a month later he would be gone. While we were there spending time with him, we were able to take a picture of all of us, which I did happen to crop the photo to have one of just the two of us. I do still have the one of all four and it looks amazing!

Following a week in Atlanta, we headed back to Alabama for the Christmas reunion. There we ate dinner, played Dirty Santa and just enjoyed each others company the way a family should. Uncle James made his rounds, walking with his walker and he rested in his chair, often falling asleep. As Uncle James was getting ready to leave, I felt as though I would not be able to get in enough hugs and I feared that it would be the last time I would see him... Little did I know or even think that I would be back in Alabama the following month for his funeral. It all happened so quickly.

There is a place in me that will always feel empty with the passing of Uncle James. On January 23, 2012 we laid this amazing man to rest next to his beloved wife, Mae Walker, who passed a little over two years ago. Two days ago we smiled and we cried in reminiscence as we shared stories from the past and as we bid our farewells. I was once again reminded of how one family can hold on to one another in times of sorrow, all the while smiling in the celebration of ones long and amazing life.

My great Uncle James will always be one of the most amazing and admirable men that I've been blessed to know for all of these years. 

Thank you so much to the wonderful people that I have in my life that have stood beside me through this time! 

This photo was taken a little over one month ago, Dec 12, 2011 while I was in AL. He was one of the main reasons I made sure to go to the reunion. I had to see him...now I'm even more glad I went and thrilled I have this photo that I can forever hold on to and cherish.


Uncle James' favorite song... one of my absolute favorite:

♪♫ Just a Closer Walk With Thee ♫♪

I am weak, but Thou art strong 

Jesus keep me from all wrong

I'll be satisfied as long

As I walk, just let me walk close to thee.

Chorus:

Just a Closer Walk with thee

Granted Jesus is my plea

Daily walking close to thee

Let it be, Dear Lord, let it be

When my feeble life is o'er

Time for me will be no more

Guide me gently, safely o'er

To they kingdom shore, to Thy shore

Repeat Chorus

 

 

Keep Their Memories Alive

"For love of country they accepted death..."  ~James A. Garfield

Memorial Day... What does it mean to you? What are the thoughts that go through your mind as you think of this day? For many, it is a day off work and a day of cooking out with a few drinks. In our world, the military world, it is complete opposite. It is a time that we remember the ones that have been lost in combat. Not that there is a day that goes by that we don't think of them or keep their memories alive, but on this specific day, we hope that everyone will take the time to remember and honor those that have been lost while serving our country. In no way am I saying that people should sit at home and do nothing during their day off, I am just simply stating that I wish people would not take the day for granted and remember the meaning behind this day. While you are starting your day or in the middle of your day, take just a moment and remember those that we have lost and remember those left behind picking up the pieces. Widows/widowers, children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, and so on that have been left behind are remembering their loved ones with every day that passes, take time on this Memorial Day to remember all of them as well.

When deployment time comes, no matter how many you have been through, you try to prepare yourself for the possibilities that could and more than likely will occur. However, no matter how much preparation you do, you can never prepare yourself for deaths. No matter how many times as a spouse I have received the dreaded phone calls or have had to make the calls to other spouses, it never gets easier and we never forget. The service members we have lost hold a special place in all of our hearts as do their families. We take things from these men and women in the words and lessons they have left behind and we try to keep their memory alive.

The first loss I was faced with from OIF was in 2004 when a friend of mine from high school lost his life due to a RPG. My mom called me as I was getting ready for work to inform me of his death in Iraq. My husband was in AIT at the time. I felt myself become sick and just broke into tears. At the time I knew he was married with a daughter, but had no idea until recently that he had actually married a friend of mine from high school. Whenever I make the trip to GA, getting off the interstate we cross over a bridge to head to my moms house. There is a sign that dedicates the bridge to Antoine Holt. Every single time we drive over it, I still tear up if not cry.

In between the years of Kevin being in the army, we have been faced with many other losses. In 2006/2007's deployment to Mosul, his unit lost 31 guys. There is no way to express the sadness that swept over everyone or the memories that we all hold close to us. One of the soldiers that was KIA was LT Daily who touched many of us. He left behind an amazing woman that he had married. She is an inspiration to many and does not even know it. We think about Mark all the time and I will never forget how he was one of the few Officers that was truly concerned for his troops and their families. It wasn't about training and the deployment as it was about the soldiers. When I first met him, he walked up to me, introduced himself and asked me many questions about my health. He then told me that he needed to know what all was going on because he wasn't one to put a soldier on the line when they had other things at home to worry about, major things like their families health putting their family in danger. He said it's better to let the soldier take care of their family for a temporary issue than it is to have them run a mission, not focused and many lose their lives. Because of LT Daily, my husband was able to remain on Rear D with me for two of the fourteen months they were deployed. I was unable to drive, on bedrest, and living with an extremely high risk pregnancy. We weren't even sure if our child would make it or not at that point and we had two toddlers that had to be cared for through all of this. I couldn't do it without my husband. LT Daily gave us those couple of months in order for us to have our son then for Kevin to go straight over. Our son was a preemie. During this time, we received the awful news that a true hero had been KIA and it was LT Mark Daily. Our lives were forever changed. We feel blessed to have known this man and for him to have impacted us the way he did. Mrs. Daily, your husband has never been forgotten and never will be. You will always remain in our prayers.

A friend of mine lost her husband in Iraq a few years ago. The day of his death was also the day of their son's birthday. Every year when Quentin's birthday rolls around, there is one thing on his mind... the anniversary of his father's death while serving our country. I believe it was last year that Quentin was one of twenty five boys that was invited to a week long camp for boys that have lost their dads due to this war. They had a week full of fun activities and time to connect with others that understand what they are going through. They were able to connect and talk. In the short film that has been released it shows some of the activities, but it also shows some of the boys talking about their dads. Quentin was the first one that really spoke up about his loss. He has two sisters that have been left behind as well. My heart goes out to the Mendez family and every other family that has been left behind. May their loved ones never be forgotten today, tomorrow, or any day in the future.   ~ To view this video, follow this link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/245282/sons-of-the-fallen.

As you all wake up tomorrow and face this Memorial Day, be thankful for all you have been blessed with. Even on your worst days, you have the world at your fingertips. Say a prayer and think about the heroes that we were blessed to know and lost. Never let their memories die. Keep them alive in the way you live life, the way you treat others, the lessons that you teach, and the memories you make.

~Brittney Biddle
FOV Community Blog Coordinator