Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Heart Just Aches

Over the past couple of weeks my inbox on Facebook has become overwhelmingly full of the Breast Cancer Awareness emails that we are all so familiar with. As we all know Breast Cancer Awareness month is next month and FB female friends always get a jump start in September playing the "update your status with..." email game. Typically the emails consist of the color or something or where do you like to keep your purse with an answer that sounds somewhat sexual. It always raises eyebrows of the men and giggles from the women. Well, this year it seems to raise a little more than good humor in smiles in some women. I for one have no desire or interest to even play along this year. As always, I will speak my mind in hopes to raise awareness for Breast Cancer because it holds a special place in my heart. It has run through my family like crazy, Kevin's grandmother passed away from it when he was two, and in 2006 my best friend was by his mothers side as she passed away after battling cancer off and on for years! However the game this year is asking for women to write their status as... "I'm (your birthday month) and craving (your birthdate that ends up being coded with candy/food)" which to the majority would imply you are expecting.  Notice right below to see the email I am referring to, then below where I continue with my thoughts...

It’s that time of year again in support of Breast Cancer Awareness! We all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status? or the way we like to have our handbag handy?
Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!
DO NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing And please Broadcast this to all ur female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year
I did my part… So now its YOUR turn!
The idea is to choose the month You were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round the world.
So you’ll write… I’m (your birth month) weeks and I’m craving (your birth date) !!! as your status
Example: Feb 14th= I’m 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!!

So, after reading this, maybe some of you can instantly see my reasons on not taking part in any of this. It is a slap in the face to those of us that want (more) children, yet are not able to have them. "Hello, I am 28 years old, a mother of three (thankfully!) while enduring incredibly high risk pregnancies, with major medical problems that has led to an extreme amount of surgeries, intense chronic pain, and never again being able to experience pregnancy, growth, and the delivery of a precious newborn." Can I place that as my status? Probably not because it would rub people the wrong way.  Instead, we have to look for a way to adopt a newborn, which many of us know is a very complicated process. There is no way I could put this implication on my status while trying to raise awareness. I had many surgeries with many complications, almost costing me my life, in order to have a full hysterectomy in order to save my life in the end. There is nothing right about any of this. What I would do for another baby and how my heart just aches for that little one....

What about the ones who are capable of having children, yet have not at this point, and place this on their status? Is it right for families and friends to read so much into it and become filled with joy and pure happiness and more excitement than they know what to do with it all because they instantly think someone is pregnant? Why is it acceptable to toy with the emotions of others by placing this as a status? I know there are others like me that see this and their hearts just sink because there are so many actively playing along with this, probably not seeing the harm in any of it because we know that it would not be done intentionally. Yet, it does not help to ease the pain or sinking feeling to ones that are in the shoes that I am in or ones that have never been blessed with having a child.

In the end, this is just not something I agree with as a way to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. There are many more ways to do such a a thing. 

1 comment:

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